Why your relationship status shouldn’t define you

When did our relationship statuses start to define our value as individuals?

Here’s the answer: the moment we let it.

We check boxes on social networking sites and on surveys so that people know when we’re “in a relationship” or “single”. People put emojis in their bios or wear pieces of jewelry to let people know whether or not they’re available. The tweets, status updates, captions, and stories are suddenly all about whether you are single, or in a relationship.

It seems to me as though single has just become a synonym for the word unhappy, and in a relationship is the definition of “happiness”.  I don’t mean to be rude or brash, but who ever said that we need to have someone in our lives to be happy? I’ve been single for a few years now, and I couldn’t be happier!

What’s my secret, you ask?

I’ve found my own true happiness within MYSELF. 

God created you, and God doesn’t make junk. And if we’re not junk, then we’re lovable. The person we really need to love us is ourselves. I often hear the phrase “they’re my other half”. NO. You are not some half that needs someone else to make a whole. You are a whole on your own. God created us as whole individuals. He created us in His image, so what’s not to love?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that relationships or being in them is wrong. But depending on them for your happiness is not right. We shouldn’t depend on anyone or anything to be happy, especially when happiness is within us at all times. I understand that some people find it hard to be happy with themselves. Trust me, it took me a while to find that joy myself. The minute I made the conscious effort to get to know myself and find the joy that lies within me was the minute that I became a happier person.

The beauty of having inner happiness is that no one can take it away from you. The only thing anyone can do is add to it, and that’s the good thing about relationships. Relationships were never about gifts or status updates! They were always about making each other a better person, and adding to their happiness.

I’ve met plenty of young men and women who go from partner to partner to partner trying to “be happy”. They spend their time trying to find their happiness in someone else when they should have been searching themselves. You’ll surprise yourself at how much you can learn to love yourself with just a little soul-searching. And with soul-searching comes acceptance. I’ve accepted that I am single. While yes, I am ready for a relationship, I know that I don’t need one. And along the road, you’ll find other people with the same mentality of inner-happiness. Once you find your inner-happiness, you won’t allow yourself to settle for someone who hasn’t found theirs.

It’s better when your joy compliments their joy. It’s better when yourselves as individuals come together to make a happy pair. It’s better without fear of unhappiness without them. It’s better to love someone who also loves themselves. It’s better to love someone when you love yourself.

It’s better to be alone and happy with yourself, than to be in a relationship and hate yourself. 

Love yourself and be happy with who you are, regardless of your relationship status.


“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭


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